Healing in Layers

Trauma has a way of imprinting itself deep into the body, mind, and spirit. For many women, myself included, trauma wasn’t just one moment. It was a lifetime of moments that left me feeling inadequate. Some come from sexual abuse. Others from years of emotional manipulation, psychological gaslighting, or simply surviving in a world that hasn’t always made space for our pain.

Healing from trauma isn't about negating or forgetting or even pretending like what happened didn’t. It's about learning to live without letting that trauma and pain dictate your current life and present moments. There will be days you feel like you're winning and nothing can stop you. There will also be days when getting out of bed is the actual victory.

This post is for every woman who is still standing, even if her legs are still a little shaky. For every survivor who smiles through pain, showing up while still trying to feel whole. Your strength is not only encompassed by what you've endured, but also in your adamant refusal to give up on yourself and your healing journey.

Trauma can show up in anxiety, depression, exhaustion, or dissociation. It can make you hyper independent or completely numb. Don’t worry, it’s not all in your mind. It's in your body, your reactions to others or situations, and even in how you view the world.

Unaddressed trauma can resurface in relationships, either romantic or friendships, your level of self esteem/confidence, career decisions, and physical health. Sometimes you may find yourself self-sabotaging, becoming isolated, or even start believing you don’t deserve happiness. That’s why healing isn’t like laying on a bed of roses. It’s sometimes still being pricked by the thorns while finding your way to it. It’s a process. A journey.

Helpful tools to have when seeking healing from traumatic experiences include therapy (specifically a therapist who treats patients who’ve experienced trauma), journaling your thoughts, and even going to support groups. Therapy helps you unpack your trauma, while journaling allows you to face it through writing down how to overcome it. And support groups are good because hearing how others may have experienced things like you or similar, and how they’ve progressed, can inspire you. Eating healthy, setting boundaries, exercising, and spiritual guidance are all tools you can use to help you on your healing journey. Remember, it starts with you. You have to do the work. You can start by comforting the parts of you your inner child needed the most.

To the women who wake up every day with unresolved trauma but still find a way to keep pushing and choosing to heal, you are warriors in ways most people will never comprehend. Choosing to heal is the ultimate strength any woman can display, right next to giving birth. You don’t have to pretend you’re ok all the time. However, you do have to be your first cheerleader. Be compassionate with yourself. Be honest with yourself and always give yourself grace.

You are allowed to be tired. You are allowed to not always have the answer. You deserve peace and to be heard. You are your only project, and you don’t have to be put together perfectly. Healing is very possible, and while it may oftentimes be invisible, it’s most definitely a beautiful thing. Trauma may have been a part of your story. But it does not have to be your ending.